Skip to main content

Baba ban gaya CM




A fairy tale without fairies

Once upon a time Babas were confined to hermitage and holy things.  Those were the days of fairies and mermaids, tree nymphs and water sprites. Then one day a disease called sickularism entered the forests and rivers.  Sickularism spread like wildfire or plague or TV ads.  The fairies and mermaids fell prey and died one by one with apparent vengeance.  They became extinct.  So did the nymphs and sprites. 

The Babas were starved of nymphs and sprites.  So they migrated in search of the steroid of inspiration.  Political slogans spiced up with the right measures of patriotic herbs and nationalist leaves and cultural roots brought them ecstasy and heavenly bliss.

The bliss spread like an exhilarating amrit and the nation became spiritual.  Sickularism was declared the national disease.  Schools were converted into ashrams in order to deal with the national malaise.  Textbooks were rewritten.  The new knowledge intoxicated the whole nation.

Pappu lost his job as school teacher like many others who were found not qualified enough to continue in the job on account of being sickular.  The manager and the principal of his school summoned him to the office.

“We regret to inform you that you are not wanted here anymore.”  The manager said with her characteristic curtness which was accentuated further by neo-nationalism and neo-patriotism .  Her silver hair fluttered in the gentle breeze of the fan and caught Pappu’s attention. 

“There are many organisations doing charity works for treating the sickulars,” said the principal trying to ameliorate what she interpreted as shock while Pappu was still admiring the manager’s fluttering silver hairs.  In spite of the silver hairs the manager’s face reminded Pappu of some nymph of his imagination. 

“Are you all right, Mr Pappu?” asked the principal.  The question brought Pappu back to the reality at hand.  The reality of the world without nymphs and fairies.  With patriotism and nationalism. 

Having absorbed the harshness of the situation with all the equanimity he could muster, Pappu said, “Before I leave I’d like to say two things.”

Manager and principal stared at him.

“One, you’ve ruined one life mercilessly.  Two, Pip-Pip.”

Manager and principal looked at each other as Pappu walked out of the office calmly.

“What’s Pip-pip?” Manager asked.

“Pip is the hero of Great Expectations, Dickens’ novel.” Principal explained sounding pedantic as usual.

“So he is going with great expectations.”  Manager muttered and laughed as if that was the joke of the year.

When Pappu came out of the campus to the street, a victory march was going on celebrating the election of a Baba as the new Chief Minister of the state.  Having nothing else to do, Pappu joined the march and repeated the patriotic and nationalist slogans.  He felt very relaxed.



Comments

  1. Replies
    1. He should actually. He doesn't even know how to make his own slogans :)

      Delete
  2. BJP had not declared Yogi Adityanath as UP CM candidate. He did not contest Legislative Assembly election. He was an MP who was made CM by BJP high command (Narendra Modi and Amit Shah). BJP’s 312 MLAs did not have free choice in selecting CM. Hıgh command culture will ruin BJP as it did Congress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That may be true. But Yogi has his own mass support in UP which is one reason why the High Command chose him. What I foresee is communal conflict in UP.

      Delete
  3. nice satire, Yogi right from the start is on action and made more than 15000+ people jobless,Romeo squad became a harassment tool, God save UP now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even God is likely to fail! Yogi and his party are both determined to eliminate a whole section of people from the state.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pranita a perverted genius

Bulldozer begins its work at Sawan Pranita was a perverted genius. She had Machiavelli’s brain, Octavian’s relentlessness, and Levin’s intellectual calibre. She could have worked wonders if she wanted. She could have created a beautiful world around her. She had the potential. Yet she chose to be a ruthless exterminator. She came to Sawan Public School just to kill it. A religious cult called Radha Soami Satsang Beas [RSSB] had taken over the school from its owner who had never visited the school for over 20 years. This owner, a prominent entrepreneur with a gargantuan ego, had come to the conclusion that the morality of the school’s staff was deviating from the wavelengths determined by him. Moreover, his one foot was inching towards the grave. I was also told that there were some domestic noises which were grating against his patriarchal sensibilities. One holy solution for all these was to hand over the school and its enormous campus (nearly 20 acres of land on the outskirts

Queen of Religion

She looked like Queen Victoria in the latter’s youth but with a snow-white head. She was slim, fair and graceful. She always smiled but the smile had no life. Someone on the campus described it as a “plastic smile.” She was charming by physical appearance. Soon all of us on the Sawan school campus would realise how deceptive appearances were. Queen took over the administration of Sawan school on behalf of her religious cult RSSB [Radha Soami Satsang Beas]. A lot was said about RSSB in the previous post. Its godman Gurinder Singh Dhillon is now 70 years old. I don’t know whether age has mellowed his lust for land and wealth. Even at the age of 64, he was embroiled in a financial scam that led to the fall of two colossal business enterprises, Fortis Healthcare and Religare finance. That was just a couple of years after he had succeeded in making Sawan school vanish without a trace from Delhi which he did for the sake of adding the school’s twenty-odd acres of land to his existing hun

Machiavelli the Reverend

Let us go today , you and I, through certain miasmic streets. Nothing will be quite clear along our way because this journey is through some delusions and illusions. You will meet people wearing holy robes and talking about morality and virtues. Some of them will claim to be god’s men and some will make taller claims. Some of them are just amorphous. Invisible. But omnipotent. You can feel their power around you. On you. Oppressing you. Stifling you. Reverend Machiavelli is one such oppressive power. You will meet Franz Kafka somewhere along the way. Joseph K’s ghost will pass by. Remember Joseph K who was arrested one fine morning for a crime that nobody knew anything about? Neither Joseph nor the men who arrest him know why Joseph K is arrested. The power that keeps Joseph K under arrest is invisible. He cannot get answers to his valid questions from the visible agents of that power. He cannot explain himself to that power. Finally, he is taken to a quarry outside the town wher

Randeep the melody

Many people in this pic have made their presence in this A2Z series A phone call came from an unknown number the other day. “Is it okay to talk to you now, Sir?” The caller asked. The typical start of a conversation by an influencer. “What’s it about?” My usual response looking forward to something like: “I am so-and-so from such-and-such business firm…” And I would cut the call. But there was a surprise this time. “I am Randeep…” I recognised him instantly. His voice rang like a gentle music in my heart. Randeep was a student from the last class 12 batch of Sawan. One of my favourites. He is unforgettable. Both Maggie and I taught him at Sawan where he was a student from class 4 to 12. Nine years in a residential school create deep bonds between people, even between staff and students. Randeep was an ideal student. Good at everything yet very humble and spontaneous. He was a top sportsman and a prefect with eminent leadership. He had certain peculiar problems with academics. Ans

Nakulan the Outcast

Nakulan was one of the many tenants of Hevendrea . A professor in the botany department of the North Eastern Hill University, he was a very lovable person. Some sense of inferiority complex that came from his caste status made him scoff the very idea of his lovability. He lived with his wife and three children in one of Heavendrea’s many cottages. When he wanted to have a drink, he would walk over to my hut. We sipped our whiskies and discussed Shillong’s intriguing politics or something of the sort while my cassette player crooned gently in the background. Nakulan was more than ten years my senior by age. He taught a subject which had never aroused my interest at any stage of my life. It made no difference to me whether a leaf was pinnately compound or palmately compound. You don’t need to know about anther and stigma in order to understand a flower. My friend Levin would have ascribed my lack of interest in Nakulan’s subject to my egomania. I always thought that Nakulan lived