With my Foot in my Mouth

People talk a lot. For example, there are more than 2 million podcasts which have produced 48 million episodes. More than 3000 TEDx events take place every year. 373 million YouTube channels bring us talk after talk on every topic under the sun and beyond. The various avatars of social media produce tons of words every day.

Did you think that women talk more? A recent Time article said, “Men, in particular, are the champions of overtalking – and talking over. We bulldoze. We hog the floor. We mansplain, manterrupt, and deliver manalogues.” I was one of them too: an over-talker. In the process, I put my foot in my mouth too frequently and got into infinite troubles. That is how I learnt to quit talking. Now I don’t talk unless it is absolutely necessary. I write, but. One way or another, this urge to spill the beans which is deep-rooted finds its way out. I chose writing over talking because the reader can choose to stop reading at any time. In a conversation, it may not be easy to stop listening or pretend to be listening.

The urge to talk is not something that comes from outside. It is within you and that is why it is difficult to put a rein on it. Professor Michael Beatty who has done some research on this says, “It’s biology. It’s all nature, not nurture.” You didn’t intentionally cultivate the habit of overtalking; it’s there in your genes. Beatty and his colleagues think, after much research, that talkativeness is linked to brain-wave imbalances. It’s about the balance between neuron activity in the left and right lobes in the anterior region of the prefrontal cortex. The left and right lobe should have about the same amount of neuronal activity when you are at rest. Instead, if your left side is more active than the right, you’re likely to be shy. If the right side is more active, you tend to be talkative. 

I really don’t know which side of my brain is more active than the other. I know that for quite a while I was a blunderer in social circles. I talked a lot and I talked nonsense. Nonsense for others. Until some benefactors decided to teach me the necessary lessons. I did learn them too. I learnt to avoid social circles altogether. My experience shows that you can put a rein on your talkativeness even though the impulse is inborn. You can avoid the occasions for conversations. Now, even if I find myself in certain social circles like on occasions such as weddings or some such parties, I keep my mouth zipped-up unless someone forces the zip open. I make every effort to keep my words to the minimum even when I am forced to talk. In spite of that, I find myself putting my foot in my mouth sometimes. So Professor Beatty is right: it is in our genes.

What about you? Do you talk too much? Find out by answering 16 questions here.