Gestalt therapy is one of
the many forms of psychological therapies.
One of its founders, Dr Fritz Perls [1893-1970] made the following lines
a kind of prayer:
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.
In my youth, I had typed
this and pasted it in a place I could see often. For years, it remained there. Finally it was worn out. By that time, however, it had become part of
my memory, my consciousness.
The fact is that I never
mastered the art of relating to others. Maybe,
too much ego. More probably, sheer
inability. Most probably, lack of
inclination. Today, moving towards the
autumn of life, I’m still convinced that Perls is right.
Each one of us has to grow
in our own way. There is much that
others can contribute, but whether people choose to make that contribution or
whether the contribution becomes relevant to us is often beyond us. “If we find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.”
Perls was a brilliant psychologist. He counselled many, conducted seminars and
workshops related to psychology and counselling, and earned a name for himself
in the history of psychology. Yet he was
eccentric too. He was viewed variously as
“insightful, witty, bright, provocative, manipulative, hostile, demanding, and
inspirational.” [Gerald Corey, Counselling and Psychotherapy]
Exactly... We are not made to please others & live up to their standards!! True...
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, people keep on making demands on others to live up to their expectations...!
Deletesir, you often mentioned this is school. But i think there will be no society without a little bit of flattery. If interactions are not pleasing the world will be gloomy.
ReplyDeleteIs pleasing the same as flattery, Nishant? Did I ever flatter you or anyone? Yet wasn't I pleasant enough? [I hope I was at least to some tolerable degree :)]
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DeleteSelf respect knows no consideration
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ReplyDeleteWhat happened, Varsha?
DeleteYeah sir, we are unique....we all are unique....
ReplyDeleteSome are so unique as to be eccentric, Issac :) That's why psychiatry flourishes today especially.
Deletewhen i read this blog .... your topic for the declamation " know yourself be yourself" revovles around my memories.... excellent onesir
ReplyDeleteGlad you found it inspiring, Manish.
DeleteThat's an awesome thought. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Namrata.
DeleteThere's an uncanny depth in these words. A beautiful way to convey the concept of caring, but not interfering.
ReplyDeleteI'm a happy you could see through the depth.
DeleteSir , are u a "SAGGITARIUS"? thats what i asked in the comment ?
ReplyDeleteNo, Varsha. I was born on the same day as Hitler!
DeleteAgree
ReplyDeleteThere should be a sense of detachment in every relationship, sir! Like the modern critics claim it to be between the author and the work of art!
ReplyDeleteExactly, M. But the problems are not created because of lack of detachment, usually. Problems arise because people make selfish demands...
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