Skip to main content

My first book

 


The complimentary copies of my first book arrived just one day before I took a leap into the dark at the age of 41. It was the summer of 2001. I had quit my job at St Edmund’s College, Shillong and had packed my little belongings. A colleague from Edmund’s came in the evening with a packet that had been delivered at the college address. Four copies of English Poetry: From John Donne to Ted Hughes, my first book. I took it as a good omen though I was battling the most protracted depression of my life.

That book had a tragic history. I had done a lot of research before writing it. But all through those months of research I was treated by my colleagues like a mental retard with an ethereal ambition or something like that. Edmund’s was my hell. It scorched my very soul. Purification before you enter heaven. Delhi turned out to be my heaven.

Strange things happen in life. I have narrated all those strange things of my life in Autumn Shadows. I wrote many books after English Poetry. But nothing delights me today as much as that first book. I consulted hundreds of books by scholarly writers before writing this one. It was an experience that I would love to go through once more. But I don’t have access to so many scholarly books today. In those days, the library of the North-Eastern Hill University [NEHU] offered me all the wisdom I wanted. Except the most essential: practical wisdom.

I left Shillong just the day after the author’s complimentary copies reached me. For good. I guess no one leaves Shillong for bad. In one of the interviews I attended in Delhi [for an editor’s post at Vikas Publications], I was asked why I left such a beautiful place like Shillong and chose a hell like Delhi. The devil belongs to hell, I wanted to answer. I had not yet overcome my depression. “I did not belong there,” I said. That was the same thing in different words.

Vikas Publications appointed me with a salary slightly higher than I had asked. But I didn’t join them. I chose teaching instead with a much lower salary, the same job I was doing in Shillong, the only one I knew. I had no guts to try something new. Shillong had broken me entirely.

These are some thoughts and memories that flashed through my mind when I read Chinmayee’s blog post today. I wish Chinmayee all the best with her forthcoming book. And I think of writing my next book on literature once again, fiction this time. Some essays on a few contemporary novels. Maybe. I’m not a broken man now. I can afford to toy with options.

PS. This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon. 

PPS. Paperback editions of Black Hole and Autumn Shadows are available exclusively at pothi.com

Comments

  1. Yamini MacLeanAugust 10, 2021 at 6:38 PM

    Hari OM
    I am in awe of all who finally get their works out in book form, electronic or traditional, whilst my own all linger in drafts...

    I've recently begun Autumn Shadows - worried that I would have read the whole thing via the "foreword", I decided to skip that after several pages. No disrespect to the prof. Will now enter your own writing. YAM xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 10, 2021 at 6:51 PM

      The foreword is too long, many told me. In the paperback edition i cutvit short with the writer's permission.

      Delete
  2. magiceyeAugust 10, 2021 at 6:56 PM

    The 1st book is like the 1st love?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 10, 2021 at 7:27 PM

      Yes, I'd say so. In my case, I had spent a lot of time and energy on the first one. That matters too, I'd say.

      Delete
  3. Prasanna RaghavanAugust 10, 2021 at 7:51 PM

    Congratulations to you, for your decision to start a new work. Writing is tough, I can say that much from my experiences. And, may I know,who edits your work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 10, 2021 at 8:06 PM

      I'm my own editor. Most of the books are self-published. Except the 1st which was published by reputed Atlantic Publishers and they have their own reviewers who may suggest changes. It's always good to have a reviewer or editor but I couldn't find any.

      Delete
    2. Prasanna RaghavanAugust 16, 2021 at 2:32 PM

      Thank you. I asked that question as I struggle to sort out that edit/review part for my short story manudscript.

      Delete
  4. Sandhya BhattaramAugust 10, 2021 at 9:30 PM

    It is admirable how you managed to overcome your setbacks and turned them into creativity. The great experience!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Deepak DevarajAugust 11, 2021 at 12:36 AM

    Nice to know about your story.
    The amount of research you had done for your first book is interesting.
    Yes, many would say Shillong is calm and beautiful but it all depends on the situations we face in life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 11, 2021 at 4:59 AM

      That 1st book went a long way. It found a place in some reputed libraries even in London. My work was rewarded.

      Delete
  6. Ravish ManiAugust 11, 2021 at 12:59 AM

    The memory of Autumn Shadows is still fresh. I could understand how you would have felt. Looking forward to your essays on contemporary novels.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 11, 2021 at 5:01 AM

      Thank you. You are an outstanding reader who understands the soul of the writer. I'm happy to have your reviews.

      Delete
  7. rupam sarmaAugust 11, 2021 at 3:32 PM

    Great to read, Congratulations :)
    Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownAugust 11, 2021 at 7:33 PM

    That's a meatier slice of your literary life Tomichan.
    One more thing... "devil belongs to hell" brought me chuckle and made me aware of your dry sense of humor as well.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Chinmayee Gayatree SahuAugust 12, 2021 at 10:23 PM

    First of all, I am more than humbled to have been mentioned :-) And Congratulations to you for the new work, may you never stop sharing your profound thoughts with us, which I personally adore. I wish you all the very best. And more than anything, thankyou for sharing your personal journey with all of us & about your first work in the literary field. It is surely special just like first love in one's life, I guess :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 13, 2021 at 10:39 AM

      You have always been an enthusiastic supporter of my writings. Thank you.

      Delete
  10. Rajeev MoothedathAugust 13, 2021 at 12:39 PM

    Hearty congratulations!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pranita a perverted genius

Bulldozer begins its work at Sawan Pranita was a perverted genius. She had Machiavelli’s brain, Octavian’s relentlessness, and Levin’s intellectual calibre. She could have worked wonders if she wanted. She could have created a beautiful world around her. She had the potential. Yet she chose to be a ruthless exterminator. She came to Sawan Public School just to kill it. A religious cult called Radha Soami Satsang Beas [RSSB] had taken over the school from its owner who had never visited the school for over 20 years. This owner, a prominent entrepreneur with a gargantuan ego, had come to the conclusion that the morality of the school’s staff was deviating from the wavelengths determined by him. Moreover, his one foot was inching towards the grave. I was also told that there were some domestic noises which were grating against his patriarchal sensibilities. One holy solution for all these was to hand over the school and its enormous campus (nearly 20 acres of land on the outskirts
12 comments
Read more

Machiavelli the Reverend

Let us go today , you and I, through certain miasmic streets. Nothing will be quite clear along our way because this journey is through some delusions and illusions. You will meet people wearing holy robes and talking about morality and virtues. Some of them will claim to be god’s men and some will make taller claims. Some of them are just amorphous. Invisible. But omnipotent. You can feel their power around you. On you. Oppressing you. Stifling you. Reverend Machiavelli is one such oppressive power. You will meet Franz Kafka somewhere along the way. Joseph K’s ghost will pass by. Remember Joseph K who was arrested one fine morning for a crime that nobody knew anything about? Neither Joseph nor the men who arrest him know why Joseph K is arrested. The power that keeps Joseph K under arrest is invisible. He cannot get answers to his valid questions from the visible agents of that power. He cannot explain himself to that power. Finally, he is taken to a quarry outside the town wher
19 comments
Read more

Queen of Religion

She looked like Queen Victoria in the latter’s youth but with a snow-white head. She was slim, fair and graceful. She always smiled but the smile had no life. Someone on the campus described it as a “plastic smile.” She was charming by physical appearance. Soon all of us on the Sawan school campus would realise how deceptive appearances were. Queen took over the administration of Sawan school on behalf of her religious cult RSSB [Radha Soami Satsang Beas]. A lot was said about RSSB in the previous post. Its godman Gurinder Singh Dhillon is now 70 years old. I don’t know whether age has mellowed his lust for land and wealth. Even at the age of 64, he was embroiled in a financial scam that led to the fall of two colossal business enterprises, Fortis Healthcare and Religare finance. That was just a couple of years after he had succeeded in making Sawan school vanish without a trace from Delhi which he did for the sake of adding the school’s twenty-odd acres of land to his existing hun
11 comments
Read more

Levin the good shepherd

AI-generated image The lost sheep and its redeemer form a pet motif in Christianity. Jesus portrayed himself as a good shepherd many times. He said that the good shepherd will leave his 99 sheep in order to bring the lost sheep back to the fold. When he finds the lost sheep, the shepherd is happier about that one sheep than about the 99, Jesus claimed. He was speaking metaphorically. The lost sheep is the sinner in Jesus’ parable. Sin is a departure from the ‘right’ way. Angels raise a toast in heaven whenever a sinner returns to the ‘right’ path [Luke 15:10]. A lot of Catholic priests I know carry some sort of a Redeemer complex in their souls. They love the sinner so much that they cannot rest until they make the angels of God run for their cups of joy. I have also been fortunate to have one such priest-friend whom I shall call Levin in this post. He has befriended me right from the year 1976 when I was a blundering adolescent and he was just one year older than me. He possesse
8 comments
Read more

Nakulan the Outcast

Nakulan was one of the many tenants of Hevendrea . A professor in the botany department of the North Eastern Hill University, he was a very lovable person. Some sense of inferiority complex that came from his caste status made him scoff the very idea of his lovability. He lived with his wife and three children in one of Heavendrea’s many cottages. When he wanted to have a drink, he would walk over to my hut. We sipped our whiskies and discussed Shillong’s intriguing politics or something of the sort while my cassette player crooned gently in the background. Nakulan was more than ten years my senior by age. He taught a subject which had never aroused my interest at any stage of my life. It made no difference to me whether a leaf was pinnately compound or palmately compound. You don’t need to know about anther and stigma in order to understand a flower. My friend Levin would have ascribed my lack of interest in Nakulan’s subject to my egomania. I always thought that Nakulan lived
15 comments
Read more