Skip to main content

Anand and trust


Anand was a good storyteller. We walked for years on the Mehrauli-Bhatti Mines Road in Delhi in the evenings. He was a good friend while we both were teaching at Sawan Public School. What drew me to him was his ability to create stories out of very ordinary mundane things that happened at school. These stories had a unique touch of humour, one which mingled subtlety, sarcasm and slapstick in just the right proportion. Anand would laugh hilariously at his own stories after delivering the punchline. My laughter was always subdued because life had smothered much of my ability to laugh before I reached Delhi.

It was during one of those walks that Anand told me the story of his being hijacked for a short period in his home state of Haryana. He was driving to a destination that was new to him. Those were days when the Google map was not available yet. So he was forced to stop at a particular junction to enquire about the way.

“I’m also going to that place,” the man on the roadside said to Anand. The stranger entered the car.

Their conversation soon shifted to politics particularly because their chief minister was embroiled in a scam at that time. Om Prakash Chautala, a man with immense political clout and who was the state’s chief minister many times, was charged under the Prevention of Corruption Act. He, along with his accomplices, had recruited over 3000 unqualified teachers to the state’s schools.

Anand had personal reasons to be furious with Chautala. He was a qualified postgraduate with many years of experience as a teacher, but he couldn’t get a job in his own state because of the corrupt politicians there.

When Anand’s car reached a particular place, his hitchhiker said, “Stop, I have to get down here.”

“How do I go now to my destination?” Anand asked him as he alighted.

“You go back to the place from where you picked me up and go in the opposite direction.” That man went his way as if nothing had happened.

“This is how Haryana is,” Anand told me as he concluded his anecdote.

A few years later, Anand did the same to me.

Anand betrayed my trust one day by telling the school authorities something about me which I had confided in him confidentially. I refused to take it as yet another specimen of the typical Haryanvi exploit because my association with Anand had a history that spanned a few years. I took his deed as a betrayal, breach of trust by a friend. I consoled myself eventually by drawing an analogy between Anand and Coleridge’s Ancient Mariner.

The old sailor in Coleridge’s poem was stuck in the South Pole when his ship got wedged between icebergs. There was no sign of life anywhere in that desolate place; there was only water and ice all around. It was then an albatross came from nowhere. Soon the bird became a friend of the sailors in the ship. It accepted the food given by them. It started coming to them whenever they called. The albatross trusted the sailors.

Then, one day, for no reason at all, the old sailor took his gun and shot the albatross. The sailor never found peace after that.

I was only consoling myself with the analogy between Anand and the old sailor. It was I who lost peace after Anand’s betrayal. Nothing changed in him. I brooded over the betrayal by a friend. Anand got what he wanted: proximity to some of the most powerful people in the school. He was ambitious. He wouldn’t shoot the albatross without a reason, without a calculated motive.

But there had been an error from my side too. I had done something that wasn’t exactly the right thing to do though my intention was good. I had forgotten that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I went to the higher authority and acknowledged my mistake. Ironically, the authority hadn’t thought of my deed as a big mistake as much as a lack of trust in them on my part.

In other words, instead of confiding in Anand, if I had taken the concerned problem to the school authorities, a possible solution could have been discussed. My behaviour smacked of immature rebellion.

I leant two lessons. One, if you have a problem with your institution or organisation, take it to the authority concerned and discuss it like a responsible staff instead of behaving like a terrorist who attacks the system stealthily. Two, human trust has its limits. If you stretch it beyond the limit, you will be taken for a ride.

Today, Anand is a teacher in a government school in his own home state. His nemesis, O P Chautala, spent a decade in jail for depriving Anand and others like him of justice. I am unable to continue the friendship, however, because one act of betrayal is enough to kill a relationship for ever.

Mehrauli-Bhatti Mines Road

PS. I'm participating in #BlogchatterA2Z 

Comments

  1. Anand "ji" was also involved in extramarital affair with a lady of almost half his age and students would say-"Hume ek nahi mil rahi, Sir do-do sambhal rahe hain" 🤣 🤣 🤣 A legend for sure 👏

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That could have been just friendship as well.

      Delete
    2. Hi, That is a cheap gossip if a man and a woman spend some time on a walk all because they happened to be in the same department. If it was an affair, it need not have been in the open that too very much visible to his wife from the window of their accommodation on campus, my dear! Sawan never escaped unfounded blames.

      Delete
    3. And a person like Anand would never behave in front of his students that way. His wife wasn't as educated as others at Sawan. But she had common sense!

      Delete
    4. Maggie suggested me to remove the insinuating comment. But I have allowed anonymous comments with certain reasons though this was not one among the reasons. Nevertheless, I let it be if only to show that this space offers liberty. But how much liberty should I offer, I may have to take a decision in future.

      Delete
  2. So I do feel bad for Anand being taken for a wrong ride. And I have had many fair weather friends, so I learned long back that there is no such thing as a secret or confiding in someone to vent out. You learn as go along. And eventually, you flow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, life is the best teacher, though a bit cruel at times.

      Delete
  3. It's a bitter pill to be betrayed by a friend. But yes, I learnt early on the importance of open communication at the workplace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Life will be much smoother with sufficient openness. The problem is openness can be misused too.

      Delete
  4. Your post truly captures the pain of long-term friendships ending on a sour note. The breakdown of trust is a significant thing, and it's something we all encounter throughout life, across generations. In my professional experience, maintaining both a close personal friendship and a strong working relationship with the same person can be challenging. However, your point about the importance of maintaining a good rapport with school management is highly recommended. There's a wise Tamil proverb that applies here: "சாட்சிக் காரன் காலில் விழுவதை விட சண்டைக்காரன் காலில் விழுவது மேல்" (Saaṭci kāraṉ kālil viḻuvatai viṭa caṇṭaikāṟan kālil viḻuvatu mēl), which translates to "It's better to bow before the opposite party than the one who witnesses.". Keep A2Z going!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Betrayal is terribly painful. Worse, if the person begins to talk about you to others. Luckily for me, his talks didn't have many takers.

      I agree that we need to cultivate diplomatic relationships in workplace.

      Delete
  5. Betrayal of trust is a big way to end a friendship. Even if he did it for the right reasons, I can see why you wouldn't consider him a friend any longer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Instead of approaching the admin, he could have discussed the matter with me. That's friendship.

      Delete
  6. You gave a very insightful enlightenment to all who are working professionals. I agree with you that choosing right things is integral in all walks of our lives. If we are right we don't have to beg and bribe others to safeguard us. We are free to walk. Your story touched all those elements in my professional life. Your story took me back to all those incidences. some bitter but all worked for good.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Betrayal is painful. But trusting a person doesn't have its limitations if the friendship is chosen with wisdom. I think you couldn't see the difference between companionship and friendship. I don't know how much you agree to this viewpoint.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may be right. In fact, I didn't trust him in the beginning. But years of togetherness does bring in a difference to any friendship!

      Delete
  8. That's true. It is human to look for a friend from the people around.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oof. Betrayal by a friend, you can forgive but never forget. Workplace openess is a double edged sword from my experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We learn some lessons rather late. I could never bring myself to trust a friend after this experience.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ayodhya: Kingdom of Sorrows

T he Sarayu carried more tears than water. Ayodhya was a sad kingdom. Dasaratha was a good king. He upheld dharma – justice and morality – as best as he could. The citizens were apparently happy. Then, one day, it all changed. One person is enough to change the destiny of a whole kingdom. Who was that one person? Some say it was Kaikeyi, one of the three official wives of Dasaratha. Some others say it was Manthara, Kaikeyi’s chief maid. Manthara was a hunchback. She was the caretaker of Kaikeyi right from the latter’s childhood; foster mother, so to say, because Kaikeyi had no mother. The absence of maternal influence can distort a girl child’s personality. With a foster mother like Manthara, the distortion can be really bad. Manthara was cunning, selfish, and morally ambiguous. A severe physical deformity can make one worse than all that. Manthara was as devious and manipulative as a woman could be in a men’s world. Add to that all the jealousy and ambition that insecure peo...

Bharata: The Ascetic King

Bharata is disillusioned yet again. His brother, Rama the ideal man, Maryada Purushottam , is making yet another grotesque demand. Sita Devi has to prove her purity now, years after the Agni Pariksha she arranged for herself long ago in Lanka itself. Now, when she has been living for years far away from Rama with her two sons Luva and Kusha in the paternal care of no less a saint than Valmiki himself! What has happened to Rama? Bharata sits on the bank of the Sarayu with tears welling up in his eyes. Give me an answer, Sarayu, he said. Sarayu accepted Bharata’s tears too. She was used to absorbing tears. How many times has Rama come and sat upon this very same bank and wept too? Life is sorrow, Sarayu muttered to Bharata. Even if you are royal descendants of divinity itself. Rama had brought the children Luva and Kusha to Ayodhya on the day of the Ashvamedha Yagna which he was conducting in order to reaffirm his sovereignty and legitimacy over his kingdom. He didn’t know they w...

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart...

Liberated

Fiction - parable Vijay was familiar enough with soil and the stones it turns up to realise that he had struck something rare.   It was a tiny stone, a pitch black speck not larger than the tip of his little finger. It turned up from the intestine of the earth while Vijay was digging a pit for the biogas plant. Anand, the scientist from the village, got the stone analysed in his lab and assured, “It is a rare object.   A compound of carbonic acid and magnesium.” Anand and his fellow scientists believed that it must be a fragment of a meteoroid that hit the earth millions of years ago.   “Very rare indeed,” concluded the scientist. Now, it’s plain commonsense that something that’s very rare indeed must be very valuable too. All the more so if it came from the heavens. So Vijay got the village goldsmith to set it on a gold ring.   Vijay wore the ring proudly on his ring finger. Nobody, in the village, however bothered to pay any homage to Vijay’s...

Dharma and Destiny

  Illustration by Copilot Designer Unwavering adherence to dharma causes much suffering in the Ramayana . Dharma can mean duty, righteousness, and moral order. There are many characters in the Ramayana who stick to their dharma as best as they can and cause much pain to themselves as well as others. Dasharatha sees it as his duty as a ruler (raja-dharma) to uphold truth and justice and hence has to fulfil the promise he made to Kaikeyi and send Rama into exile in spite of the anguish it causes him and many others. Rama accepts the order following his dharma as an obedient son. Sita follows her dharma as a wife and enters the forest along with her husband. The brotherly dharma of Lakshmana makes him leave his own wife and escort Rama and Sita. It’s all not that simple, however. Which dharma makes Rama suspect Sita’s purity, later in Lanka? Which dharma makes him succumb to a societal expectation instead of upholding his personal integrity, still later in Ayodhya? “You were car...